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Co-Sleeping and Kids, Mommy Thoughts

No Judging Please: My Take On Co-Sleeping

co-sleeping-with-babyHere goes another article on co-sleeping. I just can’t help writing about it. Co-sleeping is really a topic that gets a lot of folks talking and talking. Everybody has his or her own thoughts on it.

Take this for example. Over at Babble, there was an interesting article on sleeping, specifically co-sleeping. The general idea is that co-sleeping leads to sleep problems in children.

Apparently, the said article fails to mention anything about children who did not co-sleep but are still having sleep problems. Furthermore, the said article also ignores the ones who did co-sleep and have had no problems at all. Luckily the comment section has several voices of reason in it.

How a person sleeps is such an individual thing. You can’t really make a collective call on such a sensitive topic. What works for other families may not exactly work for your family.

Furthermore, co-sleeping can be influenced by a thousand other issues and let’s face it; each family has different issues. So it’s really hard to make a make a conclusion about co-sleeping that’s appropriate for all.

No one has the right to impose an kind of sleeping method unless it’s needed. So seeing an article that totally slams co-sleeping is something I can’t really accept

When one makes a conclusion about co-sleeping, one has to consider diet, exercise, and TV viewing. These are just among the things that influence sleeping habits. You also have to take into account the personality of the child.

For me, if a child is having a hard time sleeping alone, there’s no immediate way to resolve it but by having him or her by your side. Unless you want to stay up late or you want the child to cry and cry, then go right ahead and leave the child alone. However, that’s just not the way I want to handle things around here.

My oldest was a great sleeper from the minute he was born. While on the other hand, my youngest hated sleep from the minute he was born. Interestingly, I’m a happy sleeper while their father stays up all night. Our sleeping patterns are blatantly different. However our sleeping patterns have worked so well because my husband takes over when our youngest is up. When he can’t seem to outdo the energy level of the little one, we all end up sleeping on one bed. I know for some, that is an extremely radical way of co-sleeping but it works for us.

However, I would like to justify that with this simple reason. Our youngest just can’t seem to sleep without the comfort of being sandwiched between me and my husband. That is just way things happen around here and for anyone who thinks we’re doing the wrong thing, well, that’s just too bad. We’re not going to change things just because of some loud clamor that gets really irritating at times.

I regularly talk to other moms who co-sleep. What I have seen over and over again is this; there is no real pattern.

Based on all the conversations I have had with a lot of moms, some kids sleep well while some do not. According to some babysitting and parenting experts, some infants who are just a couple of months old are ready to sleep all night. While some babies might need a few years more to get themselves to sleep. It’s the same with potty training. You can’t rush a child to learn it too soon. More often than not, it only leads to frustration.

While I know that co-sleeping does not work for everyone, making blanket statements about it in this way is a bit annoying. Those of us who have chosen that particular sleeping method probably know first hand the many insightful comments people can make when they disagree.

I do have to admit that I was taken off guard when some one commented that leaving an infant to cry for 45 minutes wasn’t all that bad. Maybe to an adult, though I’d be hard pressed to feel that if if my partner left me to cry that long alone I’d be so light about it, but for an infant or young child with no concept of time, 45 minutes might as well be a lifetime. Especially when they are not mature enough to understand what is happening or why.

Now don’t get me wrong. Our co-sleeping patterns don’t mean that I give in to my kids right away. Giving in to my kids by means of co-sleeping is a far-fetched thought. I honestly do not think that my husband and I are giving in. For me and my husband, we are simply dealing with the individual needs of our kids.

I am, not in any way, justifying our ways and means at home. Furthermore, I am not saying that what we are doing is the right thing. I am just saying that it works for us. Also, we are just like any other parents out there who are finding ways and means to make things work.

As a matter of fact, I would like to think that I am just like one of those moms who get easily irked by noisy kids. Yes, our world is totally chaotic and totally NOT perfect

I have been very open about that, having written earlier about getting a little more frustrated lately with my kids I wanted to share this list I found online. Positive Parenting: 10 Ways to Relieve the Stress of Childrearing

It’s a great list with ideas that can help parents stay rested. Admitting that you aren’t perfect and learning to laugh are just some of the many interesting ways to relieve the stress of childbearing.

If you can’t laugh over the silly, weird, odd things kids can and will do; then be prepared for an early stroke. There are a thousand instances when your only options will be to laugh or scream/ So choose wisely.

To say that parenting is easy is a total lie. So for anyone who thinks it’s easy, all I can say is this. Congratulations but keep all your parenting thoughts to yourself unless you have really gotten this whole parenting thing figured out.

It’s hard enough to get thru each day trying to figure out if you’re doing the right thing. It surely gets more irritating if you see people condescendingly telling you that you’re not doing the right thing. That for me is the height of being totally judgmental.

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